My Love and I have a business arrangement that is working out fabulously: I provide him with coaching and for his part, he fixes and soothes my back with his osteopathic magic. It is unorthodox, outside the box and breaks most rules of separating personal and professional relationships, especially when it comes to family. I like breaking rules. I always have and likely, will continue to do so well into the future.
When I put on my coach’s hat with my husband, I’m at least 90% a professional. He is, for that hour, my client and my sole purpose is his highest best interest. I follow his agenda. In the freedom of objectivity, I hear what’s important to him, what he’s thinking about, his dreams, struggles, goals, feelings and process of thought. In the back of our minds, we know who is talking with who, but we here, in the space of coaching we are in different roles and a fresh dynamic emerges. It’s one where a feeling of safety, purposefulness and exploration thrive. It is NICE to put aside my personal feelings about internship and the way it inevitably shapes the practical form our our partnership in lopsided fashion, temporarily. He feels the relief of sharing openly, free of worry over my personal feelings about the above situation, which are easily interpreted as lack of support. In coaching there is a term called “Dancing in the moment.” Freed by the gift of suspending ordinary relationship for this interlude of coaching, the two of us dance in the moment, without touching. Everything intimate sits presently in the background while we focus, connect and play professional capacity. I enjoy everyone woman’s dream of a lover who shares intimately; he benefits from every man’s wish for unconditional support from the woman he loves. We both get to taste each others’ professional talents and benefit from them. It’s a win/win.
Especially when the coaching hour is over, my back is fixed, our professional hats are off and laid aside and the pullout couch lies open.
